woman is the new black...

I love it when the universe conspires in such a way that all the cool like-minded people are on the same wave-length, some call it the zeitgeist. The current one eludes to the dawn of a new era for humanity. Along with the rise of new super powers and the coming African age, it appears that women have become the new black. Even business manuals now talk of the 'Feminine Power Principle' that embraces womanly leadership styles. Where in the past being emotive, sensitive and inclusive in the workplace was looked down upon, now CEOs worldwide are paying thousands for courses on how to release their inner warm and fuzzy.

For more on this trend see link below
psychologytoday.com asks are we entering the age women.

I'm no psychologist or business guru so i won't get onto the whole new world order trip, my main interest in the subject is in the way it's affected the male/female power dynamics in my own life and what that means for my unborn sons. With the rise in popularity of grooming lines for men, man-bags and guy liner it would appear that modern men want to be, er, women!? So as modern woman who have fought long and hard for the recognition of feminine things this is a trend that we should be grateful for, right?

singer, seal sporting on-trend nail varnish

pharrell and his man bag

The truth of the matter though is that women have been working so hard to fit into the male mould for so long that eventhough they appreciate the prospect of partners who can cook, change nappies and see the value of a facial, most don't actually know what to do with such a man once they have one. Take Victoria Beckham, poor girl's husband is so pretty that their marriage has turned into an episode of style wars - where Becks is winning by leaps and bounds against his now near skeletal plastic barbiesque partner. The hotter he gets the thinner she becomes, the more botox she gets and so the story continues...

For some women having a man who is sensitive or dresses well is intimidating. I for one love well-groomed guys, but then again I can totally get with the metrosexual backlash. Fact is if you want a stylish man you probably need to be an even more stylish lady. Further more if he's good looking you had better be prettier than he his, and don't you even think about slipping up in the grooming department! I have to admit that just looking at this year's GQ's Best Dressed Awards feature set me off on an insecure mani/pedi binge.

my faves:

Themba of Darkie

Tyrone, private banker

I mean if this is the modern man style barometer, where does that leave us the at-least-one-fashion-faux-par-a-week set. I'd need a whole new wardrobe, a stylist and a personal shopper to even begin to compete with these guys. In fact I know a lot of girls who'd rather have a guy who dresses like a Bloem farmer than one who shares your moisturizer. Don't even get me started with the ones who want to cry during The Pursuit of Happyness - now if we're both reaching for kleenex, who does the comforting? It's all just too confusing if you ask me.

So basically, next time you want to complain about how old-school gender roles have ruined your life think about this....without that macho male in your life you'd have to kill your own spiders and start your own braais and having done both i can tell you this mistresses - they really are jobs best left to men!

i whip it real hard...

super woman of the week goes to Willow Smith...just 'cause she's cool, talented, stylish and sweet at 9, yes 9 years old she undoubtedly has one of the hottest debut singles of the last few years. I couldn't even talk without a finger in my mouth when was 9!  So for that reason we celebrate her and no matter if its long short mistresses...do it, do it whip your hair! :)

...now lets hope that her parents don't screw her up like Joe did Michael...yes she's a performer but she also needs to be a kid, and it's Jada and Will's job to make sure she doesn't end up a Lilo or Britney!

i am the man i was supposed to marry...

Recently one of my close girlfriends said a pretty profound thing to me. We were discussing why so many successful women we know are single.

So she turns to me and says "well what can we expect, we're becoming the men we were supposed to marry!"

Since then every time some self important married or coupled person sympathetically poses that, "so why is a nice girl like you not snapped up yet" question (or any of it's hybrids), I turn smugly and retort "of course I'm taken - by myself." This is always met with some bewildered looks giving me the perfect opportunity to launch into my epic monologue. 

"I mean think about it, I'm smart, funny, successful, and ambitious. I love babies, never shout at waiters and I'm kind to animals. I pay the bills on time, take the trash out, always change the light bulbs the minute they go out, put the toilet seat down, pick up my socks, and I have GPS so I never have to get lost or get into an argument about not asking for directions. Basically I am the man I was supposed to marry."

Of course this statement is always met with that obligatory "ooooh". And it's always in that telling sing song tone that says, "shame, she's so unhappy and sad and poor thing doesn't even realise it." The conversation then awkwardly moves on to that girl who slept with her husband's best friend or someone's drug habit.

Truth is I don't expect anyone who has actually convinced themselves that they enjoy sharing a bed with another body to understand the vindication of finally being able to give a plausible layman's explanation for the case of the successful-single-girl (see my next blog for further insight into this growing phenomenon). 

You see pragmatic girls everywhere realised a long time ago that there were more fulfilling ways to spend your twenties than waiting for Mr Right, and that it was actually much easier to just become your own Knight in Christian Laboutins than to expect some guy to come save you. Since then an entire industry has cropped up telling girls that even if you are part of a super efficient species that can pay its own bills and sperminate its own eggs, you aren't really anyone until you have someone to love you, and thus the ammount of energy wasted by women in or nearing their 30s in the search of a penis (this can also be blamed for the rise in lip stick lesbianism).

The sad thing is that all this energy spent focusing on why women are single has totally eclipsed the real issue. I mean with these women becoming the perfect suitors where does that leave the guys?

The average guy knows that it requires true A-game to impress even an average girl nowadays. Never mind if you want the deluxe package with brains, her own car and a great rack. But instead of pushing guys to new heights it seems the challenge of this new woman has done the complete opposite. I won't tell you the number of times I've watched my guy friends clutching for their best game, only to be shut down by some smart mouthed girl who earns more money than they do. It's no wonder the modern man just doesn't even bother to try anymore. Who needs to be gentlemanly, faithful and decent when all you're good for is the occasional skype sex on a Saturday night?

So the more successful women get, the less men try and the more self reliant girls become, leaving the men with even less to do. So mistresses it is not the plight of the successful single girl that should worry us (because lets be honest we all know she's perfectly happy and capable of taking care of herself). The real problem facing modern society is the plight of the single man...  I mean how on earth are we going to solve the growing litter problem of smelly socks, and who is going to feed all these malnourished bachelors? This is the serious pandemic to consider.